Life is scary some times. It is so many things, but scary and fragile come to mind lately. Very often we follow this schedule, or routine we have for our lives. It is infrequently re-adjusted for many. When that balance is abruptly thrown off... you really take notice. My life was currently thrown off the projectory I thought down which it was headed.
In a most unpleasant way.
I struggled with eating, sleeping and daily habits for a week or so. I overthought and considered every possibility. I tried meditating, writing it out, talking it out, typing it out. I tried a lot of things. Some methods stuck others - not so much. I have learned a lot from this undeserved lesson thrust into my life.
But it's not about deserving, because I believe the universe is more benevolent than we romanticize it to be. Yes, we can direct our energy toward some end goal, and maybe we're lucky and it works out. But sometimes we're not.
This time I was not one of the lucky ones. I was born on the day of long odds, and it seems fitting. I'm destined to struggle, but have a higher chance of surviving.
So I've got that going for me.